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Judging Others or Judging Ourselves? — 10 Comments

  1. This really hits home for me. I don’t drink because of religious beliefs. I don’t believe in partaking of anything that will impair me in any way or has the potential to be addictive. I always feel like I’m the oddball when every women’s gathering involves wine. (“Who doesn’t like wine?!? – Me, for one!) It’s important to respect everyone’s right to choose for themselves and not pressure them.

  2. Thank you for that feedback! Yes, it is interesting the pressure we put on others to drink. I have noticed it more and more over the years as I watch people’s behaviors and interactions at events for my own research on touch.

  3. I’m a non-drinker and I totally understand the feeling of judgement. I’ve usually responded with “yeah I’m crazy enough without it”. I don’t like how it makes me feel. But reflecting on your blog post above, I realise that I really shouldn’t have to justify why I don’t drink. Even if I know I can see their mind whirling away trying to find the right label for me such as; pregnant, recovering alcoholic, allergic, boring etc.

  4. Many, many years ago I used to attend business functions with a glass of wine/champagne in my hands just to stop people from offering me a drink. Finally, I learned to carry a bottle of water or ask the bartender for a glass of cranberry juice just to have THAT in my hand to avoid people offering me a drink.

    I didn’t want to tell people that I break out in hives all over my body after drinking (very allergic to alcohol, even some cold medicines that have some alcohol in it or some perfumes cause me to break out in hives)- besides the fact that I don’t care for the taste of drinks with spirits in them.

    Thankfully, I got to the point where I can just say “No thank you!” and move on. Maybe it’s because I’ve worked on myself so much and now don’t care what people think or maybe it’s because of the group of people I hang out with is more compassionate. Whatever the reason, it’s nice to be true to who I am and also nice to be attracting people that love and accept me just the way I am.

    Great blog post!!!

  5. I guess most of my friends don’t drink much, because I can’t remember the last time this has happened to me. I know the first time it happened…When I went to college. I visited different fraternities and never drank. It was part of my test to see who wanted to get to know me for me and who would allow me to be myself. After more than a semester, I found a group of friends that made me feel “safe” (as safe as you can at a fraternity), and I allowed myself to have wine. It’s a good point, though, that many people don’t realize they are pressuring others by the words that they use. Thanks for the reminder!

  6. Interesting conversation, Dawn. Most of my friends are non drinkers and the issue hasn’t come up in years. Whether it’s alcohol or food issues, I believe the bigger issue is the reason people would feel the need to question or pressure another person’s choices. Accepting people for who they are and where they are is what I try to practice.

  7. Self-healing is a great way to move through it! I’m so glad you have found resolution AND that you help others do the same!

  8. Thank you! Respect is so important, and hopefully others will learn to be more gracious around their words.

  9. I’ve gone through bouts of choosing not to drink and it was eye-opening how many comments I heard about it. I love that you tackled this subject.. and also addressed it beyond alcohol. I’ve heard it about food, exercise, and weight loss. So many areas. I’ve found people are often uncomfortable when others engage in behavior that is different beyond what they think is the norm and don’t know how to cope. I’ve also felt like maybe they want to do something different but don’t know how. It’s made me have a bit more grace.

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